Back in the old days, families seemed to be a lot closer. I don’t mean that they loved each other any more than today’s families. I mean they were closer in a physical sense. They just lived closer to each other. Family reunions were held in each other’s houses, and usually were a short drive away. You saw your cousins and aunts and uncles on a regular basis. Maybe it would be at church, or school, or at work. Sure, there were a few that lived 3 or 4 miles away in the big city. And perhaps there were some shirt-tail relatives that even lived out of state, (but a neighboring state) that you visited once a summer. But, if you put out a plea for help, (perhaps a windstorm had removed the roof) you could gather in about 90% of your family within a 12-hour period.
Now days, many families are scattered widely across the country. With the convenience of fast interstate highways, and faster air travel, families can still get together in a moment’s notice. But we don’t. It is a sad fact that we can’t afford the time to get together more often. In fact, if it wasn’t for funerals, we might not see each other for years at a time!
So, here is my suggestion. I want everyone that is reading this to pick a time this summer, set a date, and invite your relatives to Keokuk. Not everyone will make it. Don’t even try to please everyone, by finding that perfect weekend where all 63 relatives are available. Just set a date. Those that can make it, great! Those that can’t, well, we’ll be thinking of you. You don’t have to house everyone. They are used to staying in motels. You don’t have to feed them. They are used to eating at restaurants. But what you must do is to offer them some sort of entertainment. And Keokuk can help you provide that.
Have a picnic at Rand Park. The youngsters can play disc golf. The oldsters can stroll up Grand Avenue. In the afternoon there is swimming to be done at the Keokuk pool, and Bentley’s Playground offers a water attraction for everyone to enjoy. Take a tour of the Verity Riverboat, drive through the National Cemetery, and top it off with coffee or ice cream at our local restaurants! With just a little planning, you take advantage of the wonderful, historic Grand Theatre. Imagine, gathering your family together in the evening to take in a play, or a concert, or any of the wonderful productions that happen at the Grand.
I just returned from a trip to help my son move from Albuquerque, to Phoenix. I flew there on Southwest, whose motto is: There are no more seats, so sit next to the fat man.
Actually, the flight was quite uneventful. Flight Attendant in the aisle: blah blah life preservers. Flight Attendant down the aisle with drinks. Flight Attendant passing out one ounce packages of party mix. Flight Attendant picking up trash. Fat man next to you sleeps, and overflows into your space. Ears pop. Wait for front rest room to be empty. Fat man breaks wind. Some slight turbulence, this time from the airplane. Captain speaks incoherently. Can’t leave seats. Bladder expands. Seat belt sign finally off. Stand up and start to head to restroom. Too late! The lady drinking the $8 dollar wines heads to the restroom. You sit back down. The fat man has taken your absence as a sign that he can expand his territory. What is taking that drunken lush so long in the bath room? Ah, she is finally coming out. Make a quick move up the aisle to bathroom. Ahh, oh heavenly bliss. These bathrooms are sure small. How do you wash your hands? Return to your seat. Seat belt sign on. Captain welcomes you to Albuquerque. Almost apologetically gives the weather report. We will be landing soon. Slight turbulence. Touch down. People pull gigantic bags out of the overhead compartments. Amazingly, no one dies. And finally, you are back to the terminal.
We rent a U-Haul truck, and pay $200 to have some industrious locals load it. We get on the road by 1 p.m. I am driving the U-Haul. My wife is driving the lead car and acts as the route technician. I follow her. My son is driving a car directly behind me and acts as sort of a “buffer” between me and the idiot drivers behind us.
We drove through fog, snow, and high winds. We drove up 7% inclines and down 6% declines. A semi pulled out in front of me and I had to pull into the opposing turning lane to avoid hitting him. We were forced to reroute when a train derailment closed the interstate. Two-lane roads through the mountains can’t be that bad, can they? Oh yes, they can. It seems that we weren’t they only ones that were rerouted. I honestly believe that the entire Arizona fleet of semis were either in front of me or barreling toward me from behind.
Ten hours after leaving Albuquerque, we arrived in Phoenix. Amazingly, no one dies.
The next day we paid $200 to some industrious local fellows to unload the U-Haul as we pointed the way to various rooms. Office. That goes to the kitchen. Second bedroom. Garage, for now.
We begin to unpack the boxes, which is one thing if you are unpacking your own stuff. But if you are helping some one else unpack their stuff, it is a whole ‘nother beast. My wife took the task of organizing the kitchen. I set up the beds and organized the garage. Both of us squirreled our son’s belongings away into cubby holes where he will not find them for weeks, if ever,
Did I mention that it is hot in Phoenix? We would take breaks to look over the new house and property. My son’s house is situated in a cul-de-sac with a huge back yard, about a third of an acre which practically qualifies as a ranch in the Phoenix metro area. Get this: he has fruit trees growing in his back yard. Grapefruit trees, lime trees, some sort of orange tree.
After working at a few outdoor tasks like trimming trees and cleaning gutters, we were pretty hot. Maybe even a little sweaty. So then we would pick a fresh lime from the tree, and head into the air-conditioned kitchen where we would cut up our lime, and place a slice into a frosty bottle of Modelo.
After the second day, we were left with unpacking those miscellaneous boxes containing odds and ends. We had to hang a few pictures, mow the front lawn, call various places, arrange the furniture. And of course, use up another lime. But, eventually, we finished the unpacking. And amazingly, no one died.
Now, gentle readers, I know that you are finding this article fascinating as usual. But I seem to have taken a two lane detour in my thought process, as I have gotten completely off track from the real purpose of this article, which is this: If you have not been to an event at the Grand Theatre recently, then you are missing out. The Concert Association has had a long string of top notch entertainment. In July, you can catch the amazing duo of Dailey and Vincent! Local dance studios have our area kids showcased in a variety of amazing ways. And some of these same youngsters will be displaying their acting abilities through the help of the Great River Players. There is something to appeal to everyone. Why not take your entire family reunion to the Grand. Why wait for a funeral to get together? You will have a great time, you will see your relations again, and when it is done, everyone could go home. And, amazingly, no one would have to die.
